Oh, I do hope we are all ready for this one, because this is by far my FAVORITE chapter in this series. I couldn’t wait to post this one, it’s just that good.
It is yet another Bumble story. I just have the best luck on this app, don’t I? There is a reason this one is called The Red Flag. He should really be called “The Sea of Red Flags”. If you ask my friends, they’ll tell you that I can’t spot red flags from right in front of my face. It isn’t until I’ll be telling them about my latest suitor, that they’ll set me straight and point out everything wrong with what I was telling them.
Without further ado, let me tell you the tale of how I met The Red Flag. We matched back in July, and talked for almost a full 48 hours. In that 48 hours, he must have raised at least fifty red flags, big and small. Who knows how many more could’ve been raised if I would have given him more chances. My foolish mind will never know.
So at first, Red Flag seems promising. He’s tall, is into sports, and is Italian. You will all learn that I have a weakness for those Italian boys. It can pose quite the problem, I must admit.
Things are going nice and dandy, just before the first flag begins to raise. Red Flag and I were telling each other about ourselves, and I asked him where he went to school. He went on to rant about how college is a waste of time, and that is the reason he never went. He also told me that he hates everything there is about college. I went on to tell him that I went to Penn State and loved it, but it’s different for everyone. Ready for red flag number 1? He said: “All girls who go away to college come out as sorority sluts.”
There are many things wrong with this statement, but let me point out the obvious. 1: Not every girl who goes to college rushes for a sorority, and 2: Not every girl who does rush for a sorority is a slut. I know I didn’t have to point this out because it is common sense and any normal, decent human would know that. Now, I should have ended the conversation there right? Nope, I continued.
Red flag number two was raised not long after. As The Red Flag himself still continued as to how much he hated college, he asked if we could change the subject. He asked me where I was from. I told him, and he told me he knew some girls from my high school, where he began degrading women yet again. Ready for the next red flag? “Girls from (enter my town/neighborhood here) are usually sluts, too.”
Guys, I can’t make this up. To be fair, he didn’t know that I lived in that particular part of town when he said that- Okay yeah you’re right, he doesn’t get a pass. But, my mind decided to continue to talk to him! I seriously cannot tell you why. I must have been sick with a deadly flu or something.
The conversation continued, where he put down what I did for work, where I lived, that I went to college, and accused me of “running back to my ex” because I still had pictures of him on my Instagram. Said it “didn’t make him comfortable” that I still had them up. Stand up guy, right? The best part is next…
The Red Flag asked me what my weekend plans were. What a gentleman, right? That weekend I just so happened to be taking a trip to Pennsylvania to visit my friends I met in college. Well did this open up a can of worms for this dude.
He seemed a little annoyed by my answer. I was a little confused. I responded by asking him if he had any fun plans for the weekend. ARE YOU READY FOR THE RESPONSE? I DON’T THINK YOU ARE….He told me what he was doing and followed it with “You know, not thotting it in other states this weekend.” I CANNOT MAKE THIS UP.
I wasn’t having it this time. I responded annoyed, like any person would. And told him how dare he say something like that to me, just because I’m going to another state doesn’t mean I’ll be “thotting”. And even if I was, it’s none of his business! He proceeded to say that “clearly I’m still into the college scene” and how he’s “sorry that me going to another state to visit friends doesn’t sit well with him.” You would have thought we were already dating and he was an overprotective, psycho boyfriend.
That was it for me. I know what you’re thinking…”Taylor, it should’ve been it from the first flag!!” I know, I know, but I’m an idiot, and also like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I blocked him on Instagram, and unmatched him on Bumble. I thought that would be it. But The Red Flag found a way to weasel his way back in, or at least tried to, months later.
Unfortunately, I unmatched this guy so fast that I didn’t have the chance to screenshot our entire conversation, but I did screenshot this for your enjoyment. I decided to make a “finsta”, which if you are unaware is a “fake Instagram”. Basically an Instagram page to post funny, random pictures you would normally not post on your regular Instagram. I decided to make one for a hot minute, and this guy FOUND IT.
“Hopefully you’re still not bothered by that, I’d enjoy speaking hun” is personally my favorite part. So now I should just forget everything he said to me because he was having a bad week, right? Have no fear readers, I blocked him on this Instagram, too and never responded. I also put two and two together and realized that he went to high school with an old friend of mine, and when I asked her about him, the first thing she said was “stay away”. Another red flag?
And like that The Red Flag was lowered down, never to be raised again. Yet another lesson learned. No more red flags for this girl…well, at least for now. Who knows with me, right?